#thoughts

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my trouble with wordpress is that i always set out to write some ground breaking, thought provoking piece of work. i started this blog to write more, but the idea of one day becoming a great writer has a actually made it a lot harder for me to be even good.. because i stop myself from just writing. i have 12 saved drafts and every day, without fail, i think to myself “i wish i wrote more.”

see i’m at this pivotal point in my life. i don’t have the eye for photography and i don’t have the patience (nor the appreciation) for scrapbooks. my only means of saving these moments is through the written word.

see, writing raised me. some children fall asleep to the hum of lullabies, but i was soothed by my mother’s fingers typing until the wee hours of the morning. like an extension of me, i get defensive when people talk as if writing is a waste of time and effort. i am offended by the fact that people are not interested in your words unless it fits into 140 character segments. my heart breaks when bookstores close down. and kindles! don’t even get me started.

 

without writing i lose my way and now is not the time for that. #justsayin

Five Tips for the Modern Day Gentleman

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Merriam Webster’s definition of a gentleman is: “(n) A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.” My response to reading that was “Oh5 . Hey that’s cool” but really it’s not. It’s not cool anymore to be a gentleman, not the way gentlemen are on tv and old movies. If you were to lay out your jacket so your girl didn’t have to walk through a puddle, your boys would never ever let you live it down! What’s worse is that the girl would probably get bored with you too. Times are changing, and I think Merriam Webster needs an update.

 

Here are a few of my tips on how to be a Gentleman in 2011:

 

  1. IRL – If you ask a girl out via text, or do all of your serenading on facebook and instagram, then you are a pussy. That is all.
  2. Strategic walking – I tend to be more of a bro so most of the things I’ve learned about chivalry came from the guys I hung out with, not just the guys I was seeing. One of my guy friends always makes an effort to walk on the inside of the street to, in his words, “block the bums and shit”. Apart from being taken aback by his outstanding eloquence, I was pretty impressed with the thoughtfulness of this gesture. For me though, I’d prefer a guy to walk on the outside. Yenno, to block the rats and shit.
  3. Let her pay sometimes – Times are different, dudes, and there are a lot of women out there who take offense to guys who want to pay for everything. I appreciate the generosity, but homeboy! I work hard for my money too. I want to enjoy my earnings and if that means buying your movie ticket to see The Land Before Time XXII or whatever, then so be it. You can still buy the popcorn and chocolate raisins and coffee (hey, it takes some effort for me to get through a movie) but by letting me pay too it sorta says “Hey I noticed it’s the twenty first century and I respect you as my equal and recognize your capabilities.” Sorta.

 

As an aside, when Jensen and I first started seeing each other I had recently blown all my money on traveling (it was worth it btw). I had no job and only about 12 bucks to my name (I wish this was an exaggeration), but I’d still hate it every time he wouldn’t let me pay. This was pretty unfortunate because I also didn’t have money to pay. So we drank a lot of cheap coffee, stole movies off the internet, and listened to music in my car. It was perfect.

4. Phone etiquette – I once dated a guy and had no idea what his phone looked like. He could have had an iphone or he could have had one of those Nokia’s with snake on it – but I had no idea. Whenever we went out, he was attentive and completely involved in what was happening in front of him. That meant that as boring and unorganized as my story telling skills were/are he still held on to every single word. It was revolutionary! This, however, was apparently his most outstanding feature because I can’t even remember his name right now. Lol oops.

5. Open doors – a classic for a reason. This simple gesture shows that you’re observant and considerate without overstepping boundaries or offending your independent lady. Hanging out with guys, I got so used to them opening doors for me that I’d unconsciously stand in front of the doors until they opened them for me. Upon realizing this, they retaliated by slamming doors on me or squeezing through with just enough room for them. Haha. Jerks.

 

In all seriousness though. Guys, be good to your girls. And girls, be good to them back. Love is already a battlefield so let’s not make it harder than it already is.